Why am I always on a diet?

I’m not, I just pretend I am.

I’ve been conscious of my weight since I was a teenager. I had a friend who always went on about how fat she was, she was a bit bigger than me but not much, so that made me feel that I must be fat too. I wasn’t really, I was never skinny but I was a normal healthy weight. Unfortunately as I got older it didn’t stay that way and years of too much wine, crispy food (crisps, nuts, biscuits – I love a good crunch), and general modern life, I can now say I am overweight. Fat.

After the arrival of child number two (forever known as Small even though she is now fourteen and towers over many adults) I went on my first Proper Diet. I joined a slimming club with a friend and had moderate success – I got down to a dress size 12 for the first time in my adult life. It didn’t stick though. I moved to the US and came home two years later with an additional two stone and skin cancer (skin cancer – that’s a short and not very interesting story with a satisfactory outcome. I was lucky. Wear sunscreen!).

Since then I’ve tried Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Noom – a mixture of online and in person groups and now I find myself with a BMI that puts me just below obese (just!) and a desire to shift it for good.

So I started my journey – hate that term, it’s so Pop Idol.

I had a sort of plan before Christmas – Slimming World online and exercise. I have discovered that I love cycling. Like, really, really love it and might get a little obsessive at times. And when I am cycling lots I eat better.

But I had a hiccup, life is full of them. Christmas came with the usual overeating, drinking extra calories and snowy winter weather. We’ve had snow and ice for nearly two weeks straight. And to add injury to insult I have developed tendonitis in my Achilles, can’t walk far without pain. I’m now on week three of inactivity and constant eating (there’s a pandemic.. I’m not allowed to go out.. I comfort eat) and I’ve put on 10 of the pounds I lost before Christmas.

This is completely demoralising and I need to sort myself out. So I’m starting this blog to keep me accountable. I’m going to write weekly, honest, updates and see if it helps. If it doesn’t I’ll abandon this as a failed job and it will sit on the internet forever, neglected and only read by bots.

Plates filled with coloured macarons, fruit tarts and pastries
A few of my favourite things

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